That trust is must for colateral relationship of affection and love is harsh fact, but how to gain it practically ? If either is short of interaction, meeting or consistent exchange of views relating morale of life, likings, dislikings and above all the pain that one curates silently.
Moreover, there should be proper opportunity to sort out basic values and principles of fundamental commitment.
I agree that only after this one learns appreciation and respect for each other's differences too. As suggested it is true that unless a man or a woman finds alternates commensurate to matching mentality, conduct or thought, there cannot be advancement of relationship whether friendly or otherwise. This blog of yours has indeed left me moved as far my antecedents are concerned Vinita.

Hi Vinita
I disagree with you on some points, first is personal space.
Personal space, can be used as a defence line for your any actions in any relationship, because purview of the words personal space is very vast and twisted by the person using those words.
You are intruding my personal space.
You can use this line in almost any frictions in all relations, leaving no scope for further discussion on any issues.
Secondly, I don’t agree with your definition of The best kind of a relationship, described by you in your last para.
In other words you mean to say that you can do anything you want to do and I can do anything I want to do and both of us will not try to change each other and bravo.......we have The best kind of a relationship in this world.
Am I right?
What kind of relationship you are talking about, where both the parties are indifferent to each others feelings.

hi vinita,
I fully agree that partners should give each other ample space and should not interfere. Read in another article in the same sheet that considering the rat race and fact that 12 to 16 hrs is spent outside home, it would be prudent to start ensuring that emotional loyalty is kept in tact irrespective of what happens to physical one. I think its a must for couples to stay away from each other for atleast fortnight twice a year. That gives them the real space they long for. This also brings them closer and make them realise value of what they have. Further, we need to also propogate that one should standup and walk out if things are not working out for unreasonable period of time. We have no option but to preach them and make society more tolerant toward people from broken marriages to ensure they feel absolutely normal.
People taking idealistic positions and moral highground on infedility etc would only be cheating themselves and making most of the world around us feel guilty unnecessarily!!!..

cheers...

Madam, relationship is not only longing for each other but also involves spirit of adjustment, space for accommodating likings, genuine devotion sans ego. Things coming to divorce means there was no honest relation, at the first place.
Two wheels manoeuvring in unison create best and balanced movement.

First off, the couple should know that marriage was instituted by God and not men. Second, God has commanded the couple to stay together until they die. If they revere and honour God, then they would surely be obedient to his commands. The husband and wife each have their own personalities and each of them should give room to the other to go by their personalities but parallely, they are into an amalgamation of personalities. If the husband and wife trust each other, then there would be no encroachment in other's space. Instead, each one would share with the other everything about everything without reservations. As you rightly said, there is no such man or woman that is perfect for our life. However, we need to learn from each other the good things that come out of our individual personalities. In any argument, the other should keep silent be it the husband or the wife, whoever decides to put a stop to the argument right there. When the person is cooled down, things can be settled in an amicable way.

Ideal Relationships be it romantic or non romantic exists in the romance novels but in real life exists commedy of errors and turbulations. Before we seek a relationship with anyone it is important to know what is our relationship with our "self." How accepting am I of my self? Do I even like being with myself or am I just trying to fill in my inner void with someone's presence.

Our adult relationships are imprints of our relationships from the families we grew up in. If we grew up secure, our basic needs and emotional needs were met we'll trust our choices and be more accepting of others. If we grew up in drama ridden families we'll repeat the same pattern and discover we are married to our parent in a way. Many may wonder if their families are dysfunctional and invest energies in making them seem normal. So is with the intimate relationships.

For me the bottom line is if you are comfortable with yourself you don't need to change others. If you don't need to change others then you don't need to settle for less. Making accomodations is holds good only for what side of the bed you want and who will turn of the lights before going to bed. If you are making accomodations about when to open your mouth in the presence of your partner then it is a deal breaker as one of you is changing for the sake of the other.

Mutual respect and agreement on religious, political ideologies, commonality of sexual preferences, how to spend money and how to discipline children are the foundations of marital union.

For information check;
www.girlsguidetosurvival.wordpress.com

In life many things matter it depends upon your take in life.Some people`s take is so huge that managing life itself seems petty thinking.For example,if you think of poverty in India and in your heart this feeling of poverty in India pains you then your take is very huge.So you dont think about your own good and upliftman which you find selfish and petty.Gandhiji has a huge take hence he kept aside his personal and family problems considering them as petty before problem of our nation.Broader outlook enhances power of tolerance.