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Mark Modi’s Funeral Speech

Bachi Karkaria
28 April 2010, 08:16 PM IST

Lalit Modi’s impassioned speech at the closing ceremony of  IPL-3  was a hit. It was talked about as much as the missing billion-dollar WSG-MSM document, Shilpa Shetty’s missing name in the Rajasthan Royals stake, and the Bada  Pav-ar’s name missing from the list of those slated for the frying pan. Looks like our I Powerful Lalit can make a speech as coolly as he can make a billion, and the media hasn’t stopped marveling. The TOI reporter even compared it to the celebrated funeral oration from ‘Julius Caesar’. So let’s see how Mark Antony himself might have risen to the occasion.   



Friends, franchisees, big-stakes players,   
I come to bury Modi, not to praise him; 
The evil that power men do lives after their downfall,


The good is oft interred with their bones and VIP passes. 
So let it be with Lalit ...


The noble Shashank 
Has charged Modi with misdemeanours; 
If it were so, it was a grievous fault, 
And persistently hath Modi denied it ...
Here, under leave of Manohar, Srinivasan, Niranjan Shah and the rest… 
Come I to speak in Modi’s funeral ...



While he was IPL boss, he was brilliant and admired 
But now BCCI says he was dishonourable, 
And Shashank is an honourable Manohar. 
Lalit hath brought many consortia to the League 
Whose billions did the IPL’s (and his own) coffers fill: 
Suddenly all this in Lalit seems misdemeanour. 
When the bidders had cried, Modi had wept (crocodile tears.


 And the governing council had slept). 
Deal-making should be made of sternest stuff. 



You all did see that on the days before his actual suspension


The BCCI  did  thrice present him with a warning, 
To which he  thrice  refused response.


Did this in Lalit  seem like hubris? Yes.


So the boss said he was overambitious, 
And Shashank is an honourable Manohar. 



I speak not to disprove the five charges made against him
(For the TOI had exposed them all before bar ‘behaviour pattern’)


I only come to speak what I do know.


 
You all did admire him once, not without cause: 
Now the same cause makes you revile him.


O, IPL profits, thou art fled to brutish Mauritius


And the sarkar has lost its taxes…. Bear with me; 
My heart is in the coffers there with Modi


And I must renegotiate till it reverts to me…



You all do know this mantle: I remember
The first time ever Modi put it on;
'Twas on a summer's evening three years ago in the IPL tent.


Look, in this place ran Pranab’s dagger through:
See what a rent the slighted Chidambaram made:
Through this the well-beloved Pawar stabb'd;
And as he pluck'd his blessed support away,
Mark how the blood of Lalit follow'd it,
As rushing out of doors, to be resolved
If Pawar so rudely turned his back or what;
For Sharad, many believed, was Lalit’s angel:



This was allegedly the most unkindest cut of all.
For when the ignoble Modi saw him stab,
‘Twas a shock more strong than  ED raid, 
But it didn’t vanquish him.


Instead, in his sharply cut mantle muffling up his fate,


He swaggered off to the spa to Tweet it out. 



Still, this ceaseless Caesar fell.
O, what a fall was there, my sportsbusinessmen.


Then benami deals, and shady fees, and all the pack of cads fell down,
Whilst bloodied justice flourish'd over us. 
 


***


Alec Smart said: ‘IPL ke galey mein glitch-glitch? Glycodin Amin will cough it out.”  

19 Comments |  Comments are closed. Rated
 
 
 

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Sharda Bhargav - The Confiscated Soul says:

April 28,2010 at 10:39 PM IST

Madam, the reality wrapped in sour humour. But contains all the lessons to put IPL back on tracks. Hope sincerity and honesty prevail in future.

 

Bobby says:

April 29,2010 at 12:43 AM IST

Brilliant just brillaint. The best lines being repeat of "And Shashank is an honourable Manohar" lol... just lol stuff.

and yes, it was betrayal that was most interesting thing to see in this entire episode...

 

Rani Haridas says:

April 29,2010 at 01:31 AM IST

Tweeting is getting everyone into deep trouble....the old saying that SILENCE IS GOLDEN is so very true sometimes.

 

Bachi ka baap Karkaria says:

April 29,2010 at 02:26 AM IST

Bachi bahut pakati yaar

 

Yogesh Sharma says:

April 29,2010 at 05:02 AM IST

www.poemhunter.com/dr-yogesh-sharma Respected Madam you are wonderful player of words, excellent ideas excellent English. But I do not support your views. I fail to understand why Indians always try to defend corrupt politicians. In this case also every body is crying for the blood of Lalit Modi but every body is trying to defends the group of ten percent holders like the Zerdari of Pakistan, or Panwar-Patel-Throor and others. If Lalit Modi is guilty then this group is more than guilty. Working for the nation and then disgracing and robing the same. Moreover Lalit Modi is a whistle blower. He has unearthed a big scam by writing the names of wrong doers on the tweets. Whatever may be his motive he has shown the nation that these biggies are involved in corrupt deals. By his revelations nation has been warned about money launderers like Sharukh Khan, Nes Wadia, Sunanda etc., Instead of pointing your gun towards the more sinners you are trying to kill a whistle blower. Instead of writing a ballad on the brave deeds of Lalit Modi you are writing an elegy. You see the past of all these Mr. Ten Percents. Panwar and company played the same dirty tricks with Ex BCCI President Mr. Jagmohan Dalmia and slapped false cases against him and harassed him in all possible manners to capture BCCI. Now the same team is playing the same of dirty game with Lalit Modi. Madam such love for corrupt politicians is disastrous for the nation. If you have brought out the funeral procession of Lalit Modi wish to attend another one of these group of Ten Percents. Remember that in Julius Caesar, Mark Anthony delivered that heroic speech to provoke his countrymen to wipe out the conspirators and killers and not to defend the killers and the conspirators but here in our country opposite is happening. As in Pakistan Mr. Ten Percent is enjoying life same thing is happening in this country.

(Reply to Yogesh Sharma)- Shashi Tharoor's aide says:

May 01,2010 at 04:08 PM IST

U cant saw that Tharoor is guilty. Wat was Modi's problem by revealing the names of the shareholders. Till now he hasnt revealed the names of those who own the other teams fully. Get lost Modi

 

roopashree says:

April 29,2010 at 07:00 AM IST

All said and done one cannot forget that twenty-20 tournaments were the brainchild of modi

(Reply to roopashree)- Karthik says:

April 30,2010 at 08:39 PM IST

Mind you. ICL had the same format brilliantly executed with limited resources and support. Even the IPL format and other planning were done by a consultancy from South Africa. Modi was just the boss, though he handled it fairly nicely.

(Reply to roopashree)- Ken Featherlite says:

May 01,2010 at 03:49 PM IST

Not Twenty-20 or T20.. ONLY IPL :)

 

Jaideep Bhargava says:

April 29,2010 at 03:15 PM IST

Enjoy Bachi's writeups

 

Ken Featherlite says:

April 29,2010 at 05:37 PM IST

Et tu Bachi...

Yes, like that funeral speech...

Its the occasion
that maketh a man
at the closing
Modi's sun shone

He used his scalpel
to cleave a way
thru to the hearts
of every IPL fan

I didn’t do it
so he proclaimed
on just a few lies
allegations were based

The BCCI had their
ears shut tight
they brought in Amin
and replaced him overnight

Glycodin... no echo???

Ken Featherlite

 

Ashish Kumar says:

April 29,2010 at 11:28 PM IST

Awesome! I liked the incredible style of using satire to present some serious comments on the IPL issue.

 

h.mani says:

April 30,2010 at 12:21 AM IST

DEAR B.K.BEAUTIFUL,BUT IT WON'T MAKE DIFFERANCE IN 'AJEEB-GARIB,WONDERLAND INDIA,FOR INDIA IS NEITHER ROME AND INDIANS ROMANS ,SO DO NOT HOPE FOR BRUTUS CASACA TO LEAVE COUNTRY,MODI WILL HAVE ANOTHER AVATAAR AND H E W I L L B E B A C K BEFORE YOU JIFFY.GOOD LUCK

 

RC Sharma says:

April 30,2010 at 04:48 PM IST

Bacchi seems to be part of the lynch mob. First they fell a man, then go on kicking him.

 

premji jairam babaria says:

April 30,2010 at 11:53 PM IST

Modi Lalit is gentleman and he should not be targetted because he amassed wealth through organising IPL for cricket .There is nothing wrong at out of 33 crores Indian who live below poverty line one Indian has become billionaire and that is remarkable.We should be proud of him.Government should give him Bharat Ratna because 33 crores of poor people failed in India to earn even their livelyhood and one Indian like Lalit Modi came out winner in India.This is miracle.

 

Kanchan Gourab Datta says:

May 02,2010 at 10:50 AM IST

Had Mr Lalit Modi been such a villain, as projected by his adverseries, why was he given such a free hand ab initio. Had the critics been aware of Mr Modi's dishonest, questionable tactics, they are to be held equally responsible for the mess, for failure to take correctice action. Let us close all ranks and admit that IPL had been a huge success and brought tremendous mileage to India's expertise in conducting games of such magnitude in international sports arena.

There have been, are there, will be there many shortcomings in Indian politics, sports scene which were allowed to have a natural death for sake of country;s interest. Why not let the present controversies also have a natural death. Let us direct all our efforts for productive purposes. We know the whole nation is corrupt; the system is corrupt.What we should endeavour to do is try to bring in as much transperancy as possible and concentrate more on major issues directly related to promoting the games, improving the conditions of stadiums, welfare of players, presnt , future a and retired players and all those connected with the game.

 

vinod jethmalani says:

May 02,2010 at 03:50 PM IST

Modi-fication of IPL. Everything is forgotten.
The focus is now on ICC-T20
World Cup.

 

pankaj says:

May 05,2010 at 12:21 PM IST

what about sharad pawar...he empowered modi ...didnt he? ...modi was his pawn...pawar sacrificed his pawn in the final game and now he shall replace him with another modi....nothing shall ever change in this country .....yea we can blog :-)

 

k.s.menon says:

May 24,2010 at 10:54 PM IST

A fantastic writer. Cheers!

 

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ABOUT BACHI KARKARIA More
Bachi Karkaria's Erratica and its cheeky sign-off character, Alec Smart, have had a growing league of followers since 1994 when the column began in the Metropolis on Saturday. It now appears on the Edit Page of the Times of India, every Friday. It takes a sly dig at whatever has inflated political/celebrity egos, and got public knickers in a twist that week. It makes you chuckle, think and marvel at the elasticity of the English language. Bachi Karkaria also writes Giving Gyan in the Mumbai Mirror, and its fellow publications in other cities. It is a shooting-from-the-lip advice column to the lovelorn and otherwise torn, telling them to stop cribbing and start living -- all in her her branded pithy, witty style.
 
The views expressed in Erratica are the author´s own.
 
 
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