I am not a very keen football fan - just one who occasionally sits down for a match. And promptly goes off to sleep if there are more than 20 goalless minutes at a stretch. Okay, make it thirty is the coach is a certain Jose Mourinho.

But I can solemnly vow I will become a more avid follower if you give me more of the John Terrys and Wayne Bridges. Ashley Cole not so much, mind you.

Cole’s injury has robbed the bordering football fans like myself of possible theatrics on field but given the limited chances of the woman who, he was so bent on showing off his booty to, making it to a football field and the television cameras identifying her, even without an injury he would have been hardly of any use.

Terry and Bridge of course are a different ball game. They made tonight’s Manchester City-Chelsea match into quite a soap opera. So much so that at the beginning of the match when Bridge gave Terry’s extended hand the royal snub, choosing not to even look at his former England teammate and captain - who reportedly slept with his ex-girlfriend - I could not believe my eyes.

Men will be men. And football players, I might just add, will be such boys. Football fans too - they were actually booing Bridge at Stamford Bridge and Terry everywhere else. And coaches too. Imagine Capello sacking Terry and Ancelloti standing up for him! Much ado about a non-issue, if you ask me. And after all the two men are not even fighting over the woman.

I mean, they cannot. One is done with her and the other will ruin his marriage if he has some more romps with her. Grow up guys and get on with it!

The poetic justice - almost - of Bridge taking the free kick for which Terry saw a yellow card. Had he scored, at least some Balika Vadhu fans (is it still on, by the way) may soon start watching football matches instead. May be some would have already converted after Tavez's hug for Bridge after scoring and his gestures suggesting this one's for him. Does it get any soapier in any one episode of Na aana is des lado?

Since FIFA won’t mind the conversion, how about a special honour for the most controversial (sexually, of course,
that goes without saying) footballer of the year? There will be no dearth of suitable candidates and will definitely earn the game some more popularity.

And just an innocent query in passing - what would have happened if City had actually bought Terry? They were the highest bidders, remember. As England's most famous butler would have put it, imagination boggles.